Published Wed Feb 28, 2018 | Updated Mon Dec 31, 2018 | Posted in Life Notes | By Linda Jenkinson |
The Girl Scout song goes,
"Make new friends but keep the old.
One is silver and the other is gold."
… but sometimes we can't "keep the old."
Loss is hard. It doesn't matter who or even what you lose, whether it's temporary or permanent. Loss can provoke the complete range of emotions from fear to rage, irritation to agony.
People pass in and out of our lives all the time. They change locations, jobs, hobbies— sometimes they die. Every time someone you care about passes out of your life—no matter how, no matter who—it will hurt and you will grieve. That’s just the way life works.
Loss is most acute when you lose a loved one. Try as we might, it is something for which we just cannot prepare. One enduring truth in life is that change is inevitable and change is often accompanied by loss.
That we are the "heroes" of our own life stories is another truth that has lived for centuries. Our happiness should not depend on others seeing themselves as the most important part of our lives. In fact, few of us would be comfortable if we were forced to make another's needs and desires the focal point of our every life decision.
Sometimes, friends seem to disappear from our lives for no reason at all. When that happens to you, it is important to remember that they most certainly did have a reason and chances are it didn’t concern you.
The cold fact is that none of us is the center of another person’s universe and that is as it should be. If you are making a single friend the center of your universe it is time to diversify and find more friends. Another truism is that there is "safety in numbers." When you do experience a loss, the larger the support group that surrounds you, the easier that loss will be to bear.